Archive | July 2012

Love beyond skin deep

I recently watched the movie, The Help, and though I had read the book before I will admit that I cried during the movie. To visually see the abuse and mistreatment that people do to one another because of skin color is abhorrent and makes me so sad. I cannot understand why, under any circumstances, would anyone think it’s alright to abuse another human being, regardless of race, color, religious beliefs, anything.

I feel very blessed for having been raised by the compassionate and empathetic mother that I have. She taught me to look at a person’s soul, their inner spirit, to see the beautiful person there. Color was never a big deal. Flowers come in all different colors yet each as beautiful as the other. I was taught to see people for their actions and behaviors, not their skin color and I can honestly say that I don’t see color on people, I see their souls.

We grew up with foster kids and I’ll admit it was difficult at times. These children had come from horrific circumstances that no child should ever have to experience. The idea that adults had hurt these children is too painful for me to talk about and as a mother I will not bring up those memories. We did have two children, a brother and sister, who were African-American that came to stay with us. The sister was only with us for about a year when her biological father came and took her but because her brother had a different father, he stayed with us for another four years. He became a part of the family, the brother I had always wanted, the son my dad had always dreamed of. He stopped being my foster brother. My mother went through the necessary steps and applied for guardianship and I remember being shocked and hurt when they denied us guardianship because we were white. This was my first experience with society and its decisions based on color. To this day I still think it’s wrong.

As I grow older and my fan base and friendships grow larger I find my heart expanding and I’m filled with love for so many people. I honestly believe people are beautiful, regardless of their race, color, religious beliefs. I am still shocked by things people are doing to one another. As I’m writing this today, the headlines are the shooting in Aurora, just a few hours from where we live, at a movie theatre. It seems that there are those out there bound and determined to hurt, kill and maim for no apparent reason. I guess I feel compelled to write this today because I have so much love in my life, so much compassion for others that I have a difficult time reading and watching those in the human race hurt one another. So please do me and those poor families affected by the shootings a favor today, hug one another. Fill someone’s bucket today. I promise that the next time I see you I will give you a hug! Life is meant to be fun; enjoy the journey.

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Summer Blues…and greens.

I have to admit that at the beginning of the summer, I fell into the summer blues. Sadness is not a normal emotion for me, being nicknamed Miss Suzie Sunshine, and I struggled with this unfamiliar emotion more than a few times within a couple of months. Because of this sadness, I began to doubt all of my decisions, my actions, and my life’s purpose. I wondered who I was because the things I had desired ten years ago were no longer important. Because of having to deal with satellite internet with our move, I was forced to spend less time on the internet and more time with myself and my thoughts. I know, a dangerous combination!

 

For the first couple of months I bombarded my friends with my tearful declarations of wanting to move back into town, that I was no longer a country girl, that I missed the conveniences of town. Then I fell into seclusion due to the fact that the house we are buying has SO much trash everywhere and my beloved Quarter horse gelding, Diego, was seriously injured. I had to start cleaning up the property to keep my animals safe. While dealing with the property, we’ve also dealt with severe draught and fire conditions, the worst our town has seen since 1978, so I’m told by the locals, and having to downsize our horses to two because of the hay shortage. I also decided to have this huge garden, help my husband build a new chicken coop and clean up the one building I love the most, the garage.

 

It’s during this time that I’ve watched my daughters play in the lower horse pasture, acres and acres of freedom, laughing and running and having a blast. I have no worries about someone driving by and snatching them, we live on a dead-end country road. I started to notice that my husband and I talked more about little things, dreams, the future and we enjoyed just sitting outside listening to nature, not cars and sirens. We watched does and their babies feed along side of our horses and a bachelor of bucks wander down and try and nibble at our trees. I’m picking out areas for my patio area where we are going to build a fire pit with horseshoe pits, volleyball and other entertainment so that our friends will feel welcome and have fun when they come over.

 

I will admit I haven’t written as much as I had intended to but I honestly believe I’ve gone through another growth in my life. We are always learning and this was a doosey for me. I am still a country girl, I appreciate the conveniences of the city but I can adapt without them just fine. I thought that I had learned my large life lessons but I now know I was wrong. You’re never too old to have your life turned upside down and have to re-evaluate where you are. Remember, life is meant to be fun, enjoy the journey!